I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
