i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Couch. On fire.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
