Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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