just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
