i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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