I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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