Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
