Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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