After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
