I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
