those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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