You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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