In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
