let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
