So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
