Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize