I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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