so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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