This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize