I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
