you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
