my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
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Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
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I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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