matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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