Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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