was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
