She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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