That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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