there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
