Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
