He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
