omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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