Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
