something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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