So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
