the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
