wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I booty called her while she was in labor.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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