Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
