Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
