When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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