I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
