I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize