hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
