I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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