Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
