Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
