I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do herpes really smell.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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