Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
