elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
