I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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