he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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