I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
