You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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