I just made out with a guy for $7.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
