I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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