How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
