grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
