I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
