i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I am midnight drunk by noon
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
