walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
