Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize