oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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