Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
