i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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